Last Supper

Today is my last day at the eating disorder center. I've known for about a week that I would be leaving, but the discharge isn't ideal and there was still some possibility of delay. Nevertheless, I'm just as subject to circumstances as the next person, and I tend to make decisions accordingly. Suffice it to say that I have major goals remaining, goals I'll need to meet. But I've improved beyond clinical expectations. I continue to. I must continue to.

But, more on all that later. This post is about last meals.

The nutritionist here usually asks departing group members to choose their final meal - most often a lunch, since that's our biggie. Today is Friday - Day of the Challenge Lunch (cue ominous music). So, challenge meal rules apply - namely that the meal must scare you, at least a little, and you must clean your terrifying plate.

I've struggled with various menu items over the past couple of months, and I will struggle with menu items when I leave. But that's a necessary condition for breaking free.

My last meal decision:  Beef. Particularly, lean ground beef.

More particularly:  A cheeseburger made with lean ground beef and a side of sweet potato fries (slightly "safer" than regular potato fries - perhaps irrationally so). I also requested a wheat bun option.

For dessert:  Whatever. Just not too heavy, considering the main dish.

Sure, my decisions might be based on eating disordered thinking. And they might not be.

It's so hard to tell sometimes.