...I'll find it hard to adjust to an unsupervised diet, to full weeks spent back home, to work - provided that my spot has been saved...
...because I also worry that I'll no longer have a job, that my first taste of "normal" life will be the bitterness of unlucky nose-to-grindstone, employment searches, interviews, bullshit résumés and bullshit job descriptions - an environment known well by so many people right now, an all-too-“normal” state of things...
...and I worry that, once left to myself, I'll succumb more easily to triggers, especially newer ones, like others noticing my more substantial mass, commenting on it with best intentions, but not realizing that stubborn, illusory perception often overpowers intention...
...for I further worry that, even if I maintain a healthy weight, I might also maintain an unhealthy tendency towards perfectionism, towards control, towards obsession and compulsion, towards both narcissism and pallid self-esteem – towards a much longer list of thoughts and emotions descending like stairs from surface to core – the same ones that got me here.
Worry may well be the parasitic worm of the mind. It does nothing for you. It takes much from you. Acceptance is its only effective exterminator. You can change neither past nor future. You can only change the now. And you can only change the you that is in it.
This is not original insight. So why is it so hard a principle to use, to live by?
Does anyone have Bobby McFerrin’s number?
Well, my friend...that's what friends are for :) Like you said, you cant change the past or the future but the now is all about it. When things get hairy, lean on us. We got your back man.
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